Parenting Value: Make It Personal

This is the fifth part of a five part blog discussing the book Parenting Beyond Your Capacity.

Last week’s blog post I talked about value #4, Create a Rhythm.

Two weeks ago I talked about value #3, Fight for the Heart.

Three weeks ago I talked about value #2, Imagine the End.

Four weeks ago I talked about value #1, Widen the Circle.

If you haven’t had a chance to go back and read the prior posts, I encourage you to go back and read them. Click on the value you haven’t read yet above to be directed to my overview.

This week I am going to spend some time talking about value #5. Value #5 is Make it Personal.

So what is the “it” in making it personal? The “it” is your personal growth. Personal growth is a big part of my life thanks to my pastor, Dr. Chris Stephens. I’ve had a yearly growth plan for several years now thanks to his preaching and teaching about the importance of personal growth. It is a very important part to my family. My son needs to see me growing in my faith, just like children of all ages need to see their parents growing in their faith.


The authors talk about the importance for parental growth on page 155. “When it comes to character and faith, your kids are watching you in a way they might not watch you in other pursuits…If you want it to be in them, it needs to be in you.”

I have read in other books the importance of children knowing about the struggles we, as parents, have. The importance of it is to show them that we are not perfect. Our imperfections give our children permission to not be perfect. Parenting Beyond Your Capacity talks about this concept. On page 157 they say, “Whatever you want your children to become, you should honestly strive to become as well.” We cannot expect our children to grow to their potential if we are not growing in our potential.

Do you want your children to grow up and marry a spouse that will be their life-long friend? A devoted spouse, treating your little baby with love, honor, and respect? Then you better be treating your spouse in such a way that they will want to have what you have.

Do you want your children to grow up to serve Christ? The question is are you serving somewhere in your congregation? How about outside the walls of the church?

Do you want your children to grow up with a strong relationship with Christ and other believers? Are you pursuing strong relationships with other believers and a strong relationship with Christ? What relationships do you value most?

My relationship focus is first on Christ, then my family, then my church family. I can only put my family first when I put Him first in my life.

The book offers many suggestions and practical discussions about how we can help our children grow. I won’t mention them here, because the book is a must read. Through reading the book you will see what I’m talking about.

What about you? How can you make it personal? What are you doing to grow? How are you spending your days?

Share your insights below. We are better together.


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